I wrote this a little while ago on the train back from a wonderful weekend in Alexandria with two amazing friends, but I never posted it and since there's not much new news currently, voila.
As the train moved smoothly out of Alexandria, I stared in
awe and wonder at the lush green grass and trees that lined the sides of the
train tracks. I hadn't seen that thriving fertility of earth in months.
Alexandria itself is more biologically alive than Cairo, but the few miles
outside the city took me to a place in time where I used to run through forests
and roll around in the rich grass and clean soil of the earth. I miss natural
beauty. It’s been a long time since I
last took myself hiking up mountains or biking down rocky forest trails,
basking in the solitude and glory of this world we live in; the small pockets
of this world that our race hasn't yet destroyed with high rises, piles of
trash and chemical concoctions which pollute our earth, our bodies and our
minds. Why it’s so hard for us
to step outside ourselves briefly and re-evaluate how we have damaged the
magnificence that has not only been an inspiration, the muse of all muses, for
art of all forms, but the provider of life and sustenance since the beginning
of time, I will never know. I am guilty of it too. I ride in cars, buses,
subways; I feed into the poisons of this world and buy processed and packaged
food. There are few innocent of crimes against nature, a crime not punishable
in a court of law.
And then I look at what we’ve done to each other, and I cry
from the inside. Tears gleam in my eyes but roar like high waves in my heart;
loud, crushing and infinite. I once felt glimmers of this sentiment when I
lived in the States, reading about suffering in stories and viewing it through
pictures. Now I witness it walking and commuting and wondering what I’m
supposed to do. What am I supposed to do? And what I witness is not the extent.
The stories I hear stain the mind with images of rape, murder, torture and gore
that we see in movies, but rarely connect the dots in our heads to the people
that not only experience anguish on a daily basis, but have accepted it as a
reality; as their reality. I have only heard tell. The empathetic emotions that
feed the fiery flames of passion and anger and frustration and “why, why why?”
in my soul fade and fizzle when stories are all that stain. What will happen if
I enter into those stories; if I stop listening and imagining and start seeing
and hearing with my own eyes, my own ears.
“Life’s not fair.” Every parent dispels this wisdom on their
child from a young age when not every lollipop can be bought, not every whim
indulged. We say this when we don’t get the job we want or the person we want
or the lifestyle we want. And sometimes we say this and shake our heads when we
hear tell of the suffering overseas, even in our own backyards.
Justice is elusive. So is Peace. Both I've found are just as
important to seek and pursue, as they are elusive. Some would say Peace and
Justice are often at odds: that sometimes Peace is evaded in pursuit of
Justice; or Peace won at the cost of Justice. I wouldn't think to argue this,
as both are relative: what they are in nature varies in definition and
connotation from society to society and individual to individual. For me,
personally, I see peace as being not just the absence of fighting or conflict,
but the presence of harmony between the self and everything else. When the
music of your soul synchronizes with the music of the earth and the music of
the people around you, there is nothing more joyful or blissful, except the
additional synchronization with the music of the spiritual. And where this
harmony exists wholly and in pure form, conflict is hard pressed to penetrate.
The way I see justice is not just the conventional triumph of good over evil
and right over wrong, but the recognition and restoration of the humanity and
equality of every human born on this earth. We all have souls, hearts, millions
of thoughts, emotions and feelings. We all have needs and desires that vary
immensely but all stem from our common humanity. For me upholding principles
and morals are far less important to living justly than perceiving every person
around you with the dignity of their humanity--the equality of our existence.
So for me, when their
definitions are extended beyond absences and triumphs (although these
definitions I conjured are no more finite or complete), Peace and Justice fuse
and together orchestrate melodies of true ecstasy. In order to achieve harmony
with other people, Justice must be present in full force. How can one
synchronize the sounds of the soul between two people that refuse to see each
other as equally human?
The world we live in today, in the macrocosmic sense, seems
highly opposed to this theory, or at the very least, highly opposed to pursuing
the postulations of this theory. Who will convince the entirety of majority
clans in Somalia that the minority clans are just as human and important to
this earth as they are? Who will convince multi-national corporations of the
so-called “civilized and progressive world” that the people who lose their
homes and lives because of their dams and mines are more important than the
billions of dollars the CEOs get to put in their pockets? Who will convince
governments to stop sending drones that kill innocent villagers and children
when power and empire are at stake? Some people don’t want to harmonize with
others. Music is of little importance to them when money and power are at play.
War and suffering are
the spawn of a flawed relationship between the self and all else: that the self’s
wants and needs are of more value than the life
and humanity of another; and
therefore to convince everyone on this planet to seek and pursue Justice and
Peace (in the sense I mentioned earlier) is an impossible task in this
lifetime.
Therefore the start must be microcosmic, the individual
relationships and interactions one person has with the small percentage of the
world he or she comes into contact with. And even then, it is easier said than
done. Sure, I have achieved harmony with many of my friends, here and at
home—those that are tuned to the same pitch; but I cannot count the number of
times I have intentionally and unintentionally ignored Justice’s loud calling
and Peace’s sweet song. Because to not only recognize, but restore humanity and equality is an emotionally and often
physically and mentally draining task. And in witnessing so much suffering (and knowing I'm not even in the worst or even near
worst setting of suffering) the music I hear in my head is that of an out of tune orchestra playing different songs at different tempos. And I cannot seem
to conduct them into a clear melody or song. At this particular stage in my
life, I am left with the option of trying something new and perhaps dangerous,
or tuning them out entirely: putting in earplugs and living in quiet
indifference.
I believe that harmony with others and harmony with the
earth go hand in hand. While I would place harmony with others as more
important in terms of Peace and Justice; I believe that once you begin to break
down the barriers between people and start caring more about people than
personal comfort or convenience, you being to care more about the environment
that you share.
I don’t have delusions of all people living in a communal
state of equality with the same standards of living and same quality of life.
There is a difference between recognizing the equality of someone’s humanity
and living a uniform lifestyle. I don’t
think there will ever come a time when we all live completely equally and in
total harmony with each other and this earth. But that doesn't mean we should
abandon the pursuit of Peace and Justice in our own lives, in our own
interactions with others. That’s how restoration begins; and besides, a little
extra musical harmony is always appreciated.
